The Gayest Rappers of All-Time, Ranked by Gayness

Editor’s Note: The following is a work of satire and not intended to be taken seriously—whenever we say “gay” in this article, we actually mean “happy.”

Did you know most rappers are gay?

Anyone who’s spent even one microsecond in the music industry immediately learns that 90% of the so-called “tough guy” rappers are actually gay. The late, great Pimp C understood this before his early death; the most acute observers all but conclude that the latter was somehow connected to the former.

In honor of Pride Month, we here at Countere decided to list the gayest rappers of all-time, ranked in terms of gayness.

8. Tyler, the Creator

Tyler, the Creator has dated men, publicly acknowledged his sexuality by saying “I’m gay as fuck” in interviews, and went on DJ Funkmaster Flex’s show and freestyled lines like “me and Flex looking in the index for buff net niggas just for some hot butt sex.” Surprisingly, that makes him the least gay rapper on this entire list.

7. Tupac

Tupac, despite his ultra-masculine “thug” image, was actually quite gay, especially in his youth. There’s a quite astonishing video of Pac at 17 that will forever change the way you look at him; he had extremely gay mannerisms. Respect to Pac, though.

6. Young Thug

There are videos of gay porn playing in Young Thug’s studio. There are many pictures of him online wearing women’s clothing. There are endless Tweets by him, famous at this point: “no homo we smokin penises!!!!” Thugger has also said during the years he spent in an all-male juvenile detention facility, all he did was “gamble, smoke, and fuck”—which, when you do the math, is an extremely sus thing to say.

5. Lil Nas X

Lil Nas X is gay as hell, and unlike many of the rappers here, he’s open and proud about it. He also seems to revel in blasphemy and devil imagery, such as in his video “J CHRIST.”

4. Birdman

Rumors about Birdman being gay have dogged him for years. There is the obvious photo of him kissing his teenage protégé, Lil Wayne, on the lips; allegations around his sexuality swelled to such a point that Hot 97 host Ebro directly asked Birdman in a 2016 interview if he was gay. Birdman responded that he was a “G”—an admission of his gayness, as anyone well-versed in street culture knows “G” stands for “gay man.” Birdman was actually saying, N*gga I’m a G[ay man.]”

3. Drake aka “BBL Drizzy”

Drake is living proof you can have sex with thousands of women and still be gay. As Kendrick Lamar surmised about Mr. BBL, “When I see you stand by Sexyy Red, I believe you see two bad bitches / I believe you don’t like women, that’s real competition, you might pop ass with them.”

2. Meek Mill aka “Freak Mill”

Whether he’s wearing matching outfits with Diddy or doing bunny hops for billionaires, Meek Mill is the definition of “zesty energy.” Mr. Twitter Fingers would actually top this list (pause), were he not the well-oiled pool boy of the following man.

1. Diddy aka “The Diddler”

Diddy is definitely the gayest rapper of all time. You know it, I know it, everyone in the music industry knows it. This dude pressures gangsta rappers to “party with him”—which everyone knows is Hollywood-speak for “take ecstasy and have gay sex with me so I can have leverage over you.” Diddy is not only the gayest rapper of all time, but a piece of shit human being who exploited his artists, violently assaulted his girlfriends, and deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison.

Happy Pride Month!

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Gustavo Pierre

Intrepid journalist. Literary madman. Verified INTJ Lifter.

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