The Countere Guide to Esoteric Nationalisms
From Raw Egg Nationalism to Dr Pepper Nationalism.
What’s not to like about esoteric nationalisms? You have probably heard about Raw Egg Nationalism on Twitter, or more recently on TV. Slonking raw eggs makes the individual strong; strong individuals make the nation strong, the logic goes. That is just the beginning of the rabbit hole. As Raw Egg Nationalism goes mainstream—Tucker Carlson produced a TV special in October, The End of Men, which interviewed its promulgators Raw Egg Nationalist and Benjamin Braddock—a plethora of other esoteric, highly memed nationalisms have erupted in its wake.
Bimbo Nationalism. Breast Milk Nationalism. Raw Liver Nationalism. These are just a few of the esoteric nationalisms you might encounter online. While their ideologies differ in aesthetics, they all follow the same formula: to inject more of X into our nation’s bloodstream, proponents feel, will create a stronger nation. This could be due to the nutrients (Raw Milk Nationalism), aesthetics (Abercrombie & Fitch Nationalism), or feelings of nostalgia associated with X (Butter Cookie Nationalism).
Due to various bans and censorship, many of these nationalisms are endangered or fragmentary in nature; some we have only discovered through secondary sources. Even during the writing of this article, a man we interviewed known as the “Squid Ink Nationalist” mysteriously vanished…who knows how many more esoteric nationalisms have been lost forever? This list is by no means exhaustive: for every Sauna Nationalism we kept in, we had to omit Handsome Machete Nationalism or Floating City Nationalism. We’ve also left out more mainstream nationalisms like Christian Nationalism. We’ve also kept some nationalists anonymous as to preserve their privacy & identity.
Major Nationalisms
Raw Egg Nationalism
The history of Raw Egg Nationalism has become lore which has become myth: Benjamin Braddock outlined its tenets in a Twitter thread (now lost), then enshrined them in the pages of this very magazine. Then, as if summoned by a horn, the man known as Raw Egg Nationalist emerged, publishing the Raw Egg Nationalist Cookbook and expanding upon it with the Raw Egg Trilogy, seven issues of Man’s World magazine, and most recently #1 Amazon bestseller The Eggs Benedict Option.
Raw Egg Nationalism is a “broscientist” belief in the anabolic power of slonking raw eggs, and the corresponding demand for “the highest quality eggs—not just for the welfare of the individual and the state, but also of the blessed animals that produce them,” says Raw Egg Nationalist. In media appearances, he often invokes the ideology in opposition to the forces he calls “Soy Globalism.” The rise of the cult of the raw egg has led to battery from Big Tech and NGOs: The Global Network on Extremism & Technology (GNET)—whose funding can be directly traced to Facebook, Microsoft, Twitter, and YouTube—recently published a damning report on the movement, characterizing warnings “against the consumption of fluoridated tap water, packaged foods, and seed oils” as a far-right form of hyper-masculinity.
Benjamin Braddock’s response on Twitter to the report was as follows: “The work they are attacking was inspired by Marianne Williamson’s vision of positive nationalism, where the health of the people and the moral imperative to treat animals humanely comes before the profits of agroindustrial giants.” Was GNET’s report an earnest attempt to diagnose extremism, or was it a test run of the future playbook on how to punish those who refuse to join the global agricultural system and instead practice organic farming, small-scale animal husbandry, and the consumption of raw eggs? You decide.
There is also a French variant of Raw Egg Nationalism created by Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry (@pegobry), “Croissant-scrambled egg-foie gras sandwich.”
Raw Milk Nationalism
Raw Milk Nationalism is the sister to Raw Egg Nationalism. Just like its eggy sibling, the ideology is established upon the consumption of a substance (raw milk) chosen for its nutritional and spiritual qualities, the veneration of the corresponding animal (dairy cows), foundational texts (The Untold Story of Milk by Ron Price), Twitter threads (like this one by @MrSollozzo or this one by @JoshRainerGold) and is often employed as a war cry against opposing forces. Here it is used to “ratio” (when a reply gets more likes than the original post) a Tweet by oat milk manufacturer Oatly.
While raw milk is still illegal in some states, loopholes exist like buying it for your “pets” or taking part-ownership in a dairy herd; the drink can be located through websites such as GetRawMilk.com. As the popularity of raw milk grows, so does Raw Milk Nationalism. As esoteric nationalisms go, it is definitely a horse to watch.
Bimbo Nationalism
Bimbo Nationalism is for the ladies. “‘Bimbo’ is the female version of ‘based,’” says Brittany Venti on the MK Ultra Money podcast. While its tenets are vague—these are meme nationalisms after all, not The Fourth Political Theory—Bimbo Nationalism is tied to the return of the bimbo. She’s not just flipping her nails at third-wave feminism, but all political cringe. Lucy Brown writes about exhaustion with spheres of dissident politics: “It is not a safe environment for women—so the girls have gone on to another, safer party downtown and taken the glitterpill. The future is pink, blonde, and over it. Where will this lead us? I don’t know, but at least it will smell nice.”
Futher listening on Bimbo Nationalism can be found on CONTRA in an interview between host Pedro L. Gonzalez (@emeriticus) and model Sandra Soliman (@bimboubermensch).
Pine Tree Nationalism
Pine Tree Nationalists, also known as the Pines, Pine Tree Twitter, the Pine Tree Party, and so forth, are, in their words, “a community of people tired of living in industrial shit world who want to return to a more holistic way of life free from the cage and closer to nature by whatever means.” Important figures in the movement include Ted Kaczynski, environmentalist Pentti Linkola, and author Mike Ma (who officially started the Pine Tree Party movement in 2017.) Pine Tree Nationalism draws from various iconography including the American Revolution’s Pine Tree flag and the 🌲 emoji. Their form of environmentalism goes far beyond climate change denunciations: while the Pines are a disparate group of freemen, many of their views can be found in the mind of Linkola, who famously said "Everything we have developed over the last 100 years should be destroyed.” He also advocated for massive population reduction and exhorted that "We still have a chance to be cruel. But if we are not cruel today, all is lost."
Pine Tree Nationalism appears to have peaked around 2018—some of its former followers now claim the movement is dead, while vestigial 🌲 emojis can still be seen on many profiles. Unlike most of the nationalisms on this list, Pine Tree Nationalism has actually been named as a domestic security threat; its followers are far more likely to counsel people to grow their own food, sharpen their hunting skills, and return to nature. Jake Hanrahan wrote in Wired about the Pines and said that “the likelihood of a major neo-luddite terror attack remains pretty low…The idea that our interaction with technology has reached a crisis point, is spreading further than the pine tree fringe ideology though.”
Ice Cream Nationalism
Ice Cream Nationalism was developed by farmer William Wheelwright in an essay for IM—1776, “Recipe for the American Dream.” Wheelwright wrote that agriculture precedes culture and “must be the art of stewardship, not the practice of extraction.” He argues that national pride should be based upon the richness of our soils rather than profit-seeking, and proposes ambitious land and water reforms that would not only restore the soil, but create the following animal products en masse: 100% grass-fed raw unseparated 5% butterfat milk, raw duck eggs, and raw untreated honey—the same ingredients to make a particularly nourishing ice cream.
Wheelwright’s essay is quite detailed: he shares visions of beehives tended by a “newly consecrated order of pre-schismatic, green-robed Christian monks” and cattle herded by “small teams of ten to twenty cowboys, ages sixteen to thirty, roughly one man to every hundred head, incorporated as partners in a limited liability corporation…when not managing the cattle, they should be squatting trees and deadlifting large stones, practicing horsemanship, riflery, and hand-to-hand combat.” Far from just an aesthetic post, Ice Cream Nationalism is a detailed political philosophy which proposes a New Deal-level effort to build dam ponds all over America to help distribute rainfall and lift the quality of the soil.
Uncommon Nationalisms
Nicotine Nationalism
Nicotine Nationalism is one of the more recently created nationalisms on this list, having gained steam in the last few months. Most notably championed by filmmaker Amanda Milius, Nicotine Nationalists promote the medicinal effects of smoking tobacco and view this as an inalienable right. Nationalists of this variety experience erasure daily, as HBO Max photoshops cigarettes out of iconic Western movie posters and every inch of public space grows privy to smoking bans. However, as online energy collects around the movement, Nicotine Nationalism could move up to become a major nationalism.
Breast Milk Nationalism
Why settle for Raw Milk Nationalism when you can choose Breast Milk Nationalism? Breast Milk Nationalists are a misunderstood bunch. They’ve been painted in the press as deranged fetishists; many are body-builders looking for a nutritious but undoubtedly controversial supplement to add to their regimen. Breast Milk Enjoyer (@BreastMilkEnjyr) is a popular Twitter anon and bodybuilder who’s published a piece in Spectator World, “Mother’s milk is good for you,” about his love for the elixir. “I was a locavore,” he said. “I consumed only milk from my fellow bodybuilders’ wives or sympathetic female friends.” He tells Countere over DM:
“The heuristic to work towards in Breast Milk Nationalism is simple—practice that which produces nutritious, optimal breast milk. A happy and vigorous baby will grow rapidly on a diet of breast milk, from which he should feed for at least six months. As an aside, this is actually what our health authorities recommend—and fewer than 10% of women manage to do this. A real tragedy for the next generation.
Imagine, instead, a world oriented around the promotion of human greatness instead of endless moral scolding. A world structured around a cult of the body and athletic achievement, not petty status-striving or GDP maximization. Imagine a lean, strongly built young man. Specimens such as these are the backbone of this new culture of distinction. But how do we produce such a man? We must start at the beginning, in the circumstances of his birth.
Start with the breast milk, and the rest will follow.”
Related to Breast Milk Nationalism were various boob nationalisms—Big Boob Nationalism, Small Boob Nationalism—which sought to seize the instruments of state power in order to create a “lacto-state.” Their bids for legitimacy failed, mostly due to excessive spamming and shitposting.
Dr. Pepper Nationalism
Dr Pepper Nationalism is a meme, a clothing brand, and a lifestyle promoted by Instagram meme account @basedarchives. He explained the ideology in a deleted scene from Countere documentary MOG THE WORLD:
“Dr Pepper represents the South. It represents Texas. Dr Pepper Nationalism is pride of your own state, pride of your state’s beverage, and I love the taste of an ice-cold refreshing Dr Pepper.”
Lifter Nationalism / Liftocracy
Lifter Nationalism, also known as Liftocracy, is a political theory which proposes that the individuals who can lift the most weight shall be promoted to positions of authority. Support for liftocracy has roots in ancient China and ancient Greece (no doubt influenced by the secret order of INTJ Lifters…) but has arguably peaked in the 2020s. Under Liftocracy, the strongest lifter sits as the head of government, with the next-strongest lifters serving as ministers and priests. While economic policies would no doubt be austere, all youth would be guaranteed the fundamental right to a public gym within walking distance of their homes. Elections would be replaced by weightlifting competitions, and all government buildings would be converted into powerlifting gyms.
No country in the world practices Liftocracy, although grassroots efforts are currently underway in Australia. Online proponents of Liftocracy include Instagram meme accounts @dark_iron_gains, @diamond.doges, @deadlift.inside, @8pl8s, and @schizo_lifter2.0.
Waffle House Nationalism
Waffle House Nationalism believes that a nation is only as good as as our Waffle Houses. In one of its first mentions, Richard Houck (@heywildrich) Tweeted: “i want a nation that has 100% waffle house functionality at 100% of the time. and i will not stop until that dream is realized.” This means Waffle Houses that are safe, clean, hospitable, and well-staffed.
However, as a predominantly Southern movement, Waffle House Nationalism also appeals to Confederate heritage with more disturbing elements of white nationalism (like its cousin 7/11 Nationalism). Others believe that Waffle Houses will play an unknown yet key role in the 2024 election; politicians have made several recent high-profile visits to Waffle Houses, including Ron DeSantis, who grilled hash browns for first responders.
Abercrombie & Fitch Nationalism
Abercrombie & Fitch Nationalism was an esoteric nationalism believed to have been started by Benjamin Braddock. Due to various Twitter purges in 2020, most of the original references to it have been lost. However, it appeared to be an effort to restore the classical aesthetics of old Abercrombie ads. This movement was banned before it had a chance to grow, but various policy ideas are still tossed out from time to time: Braddock proposed in 2021 that one “possibility is to acquire Abercrombie and Fitch and take it back to its roots as a sports and outdoors outfitter - will sell steroids and guns.”
Perfume Nationalism
Perfume Nationalism is associated with influential podcaster Jack Mason of The Perfume Nationalist. Perfumes like spikenard and ambergris—which are sourced from rare honeysuckles and sperm whales, respectively—were once used to indicate the very best had been offered. They have all been replaced by artificial alternatives. This devolution is the enemy of Perfume Nationalism, which demands a return to warmer and prettier aesthetics in architecture, media, and even the average American fast-food restaurant. The best way to absorb Perfume Nationalism is to listen to its eponymous podcast; further reading can be found in our “War on Beauty” interview conducted by Sean Kilpatrick.
Rare Nationalisms
Raw Garlic Nationalism
Onto the rarer stuff…Raw Garlic Nationalism is found in the pages of Raw Egg Nationalist’s cookbook, Raw Egg Nationalism in Theory and Practice: Cook Good with the Raw Egg Nationalist. Garlic is a minor but important player in the modern raw food movement; advocates claim it helps thin the blood and provides sulfur. But raw garlic is harsh—less a food than a medicine. The key to Raw Garlic Nationalism apparently lies in this recipe for an aioli.
Midwest Nationalism
Midwest Nationalism could mean a couple different things. Some Midwest Nationalists believe that all cities in the country should erect powerful symbols of the American Midwest, such as supermarkets Kroger’s and Meijer.
Others interpret Midwest Nationalism as a call for the restoration of early American virtue, much of which has receded from the coasts and presumably lingers in the Midwest. Some fringe political posters even use it as a rallying cry for a new country centered upon the Midwest, envisioning borders stretching from Montana to Texas to Ohio. Finally, others use it as a joke: “Drinking Coors lite waiting for the tornadoes. Peak Midwest Nationalism,” Baldaccio d'Anghiari (@Baldaccios) Tweets.
McDonald’s Nationalism
As we wade into the bog of rare nationalisms, the fog of irony turns into slurry; meanings multiply at our feet before scurrying off into darkness. Clownish laughter is heard from the treetops. What we thought was a joke—McDonald’s Nationalism—has so many strange rabbit holes that it deserves an iceberg meme of its own.
On the surface, McDonald’s Nationalism is a joke: a riff on the delicious fast-food breakfast a weightlifter might eat to meet their caloric needs, or an aesthetic post of a particularly sexy-looking McDonald’s. Then comes the modest proposal that because Big Macs never rot, why don’t we begin storing them as a reserve currency after societal collapse? Then comes the legitimate conspiracy theory that the McRib is only available seasonally because of an arbitrage strategy by McDonald’s to exploit market imbalances in pork prices—unintentionally and singlehandedly stabilizing the US economy’s pork sector over time.
Finally, have you heard of the Partridge Family Tree Temple? This is an alleged cult in Portland that appears to worship Ray Croc, the founder of McDonald’s, and treats restaurants as holy sites and sacraments. What we can conclude is, McDonald’s Nationalists are alive and well.
Country Club Nationalism
Country Club Nationalists are divided into two camps. First, there are those who believe that country clubs offer peak American aesthetics and are pillars of civilized society. There exists, however, a more radical strain of Country Club Nationalists who believe that country clubs should become sovereign private luxury communities, and will be highly defensible military positions should society collapse.
Green Polo Nationalism
Green Polo Nationalism was created by Twitter anon @MaritimeJihadi, who Tweeted the image below. Green Polo Nationalism has proved quite enduring as an aesthetic post and even spawned a Chinese variant, “Green Polo Nationalism with HeeJin characteristics.”
Legendary Nationalisms
Various Bowl Nationalisms
Research indicates that there exists a number of bowl-related nationalisms. This includes Taco Bowl Nationalism, Tea Bowl Nationalism, Wooden Bowl Nationalism, Toilet Bowl Nationalism, Poké Bowl Nationalism and even widely-derided Super Bowl Nationalism.
Sauna Nationalism
A surprisingly enduring idea which believes the nation should lean on the power of saunas. As one Sauna Nationalist, Reina Nakamoto (@mindstatex), says, “Everyone who has access to a sauna ends up looking hotter.” While no formal policies of Sauna Nationalism have been proposed yet, many Sauna Nationalists are currently hard at work installing various types of saunas—including wood and infrared—in their homes.
Long Ass Nationalism
The very first issue of men’s magazine Man’s World included a cryptic spread devoted to Long Ass Nationalism. Though a rumored manifesto never emerged, it can be assumed that Long Ass Nationalism desires a return to the “long asses” of yore as opposed to the “round asses” commonly seen today in mass media.
Cookie Nationalisms
Various cookie nationalisms have also been glimpsed in the wild. While some resemble Ice Cream Nationalism—putting together the very best raw milk and raw eggs, as in the case of Raw Cookie Dough Nationalism—most cookie-posts are based upon feelings of nostalgia: Gooey Chocolate Chip Cookie Nationalism, Butter Cookie Nationalism, Crisp Cookie Nationalism, and so forth. With the anguish of a NEET crying out for tendies, these nationalists simply refuse to live in a society without fresh, warm, and tastefully packaged cookies.
DO NOT RESEARCH
Triceratops Nationalism
A Google search for “Triceratops Nationalism” before this article was published yielded zero results, but our research demonstrates that it is a real phenomenon: a beyond-rare form of nationalism centered upon the triceratops, alluded to by a number of highly influential figures. The question to ask yourself is, why does Raw Egg Nationalist have a triceratops as his Twitter header? Some even talk of a secret order [REDACTED] Esoteric in nature, possibly being used a sigil or as some type of “mass spell” with intentions unknown.
Yoga Pants Nationalism
A cryptic nationalism quoted by a small number of Twitter anons throughout the years with no explanation, though an obvious one can be inferred.
Lean Baby Nationalism
Alludes to a semi-viral Tweet by @RedemptiveKing where he boasted of his son’s strength and leanness, after being fed a diet of “whole eggs, whole fruit, whole vegetables, H20.” The Tweet generated controversy from those shocked over a lean baby, but a number of people defended @RedemptiveKing and wanted their babies to be lean, too. Lean Baby Nationalism has since morphed into Chad Baby Nationalism, Shredded Baby Nationalism, and other variants.
Big Cat Nationalism
Big Cat Nationalism was introduced by Sol Brah (@solbrah), who also created other rare nationalisms such as Wooden Bowl Nationalism and Jeremy Soule + Zyn Forest Walk Nationalism. Beyond a few mentions on Twitter, all context surrounding this aesthetic movement has been lost or banned.
Squid Ink Nationalism
In July 2022, Countere interviewed a certain “Squid Ink Nationalist” over Twitter DM before he was banned from all social media and all traces of his ideology were lost forever…from what we could discern, Squid Ink Nationalism is an accelerationist philosophy which encourages citizens to confuse the system: to always mark themselves as a different race in a questionnaire, for example, or to change one’s pronouns if it provided an advantage at one’s job. Basically, to confuse and obfuscate the system in a thick, curling cloud of squid ink. Of course, Squid Ink Nationalist claimed, it was also a call to celebrate the wonderful contributions of Italian immigrants through squid ink pasta.
Follow Countere Magazine on Twitter.
